Escort Service


Professional & Friendly

Ten years as Professional Escorts, keeping it SSC: Safe, Sane & Consensual. We WLTMU! First timers &/or experienced players welcome. We enjoy the following escort service activities with MEN only. We don't meet couples as a couple. 

"A" Levels (at discretion)
Anal Play
Ass Worship
Being Filmed (paid work)
Car Meets
CIM (him, at discretion)
Cross Dressers
Deep Throat
Dinner Dates
Domination (giving)
Face Sitting
Female Ejaculation
Fingering/Finger Play
Foot Worship
French Kissing (at discretion)
Hand Relief
Humiliation (giving)
MMF & MFM threesomes
Oral both ways
Oral without (at discretion)
Penetration (protected)
Phone Sex
Prostrate Massage
Role Play
Smoking Fetish (social smoker)
Strap On
Sub Games
Tie & Tease
Travel Companions
Water Sports

If you're a MF couple seeking the company of a reliable Male Escort, Straight or Bi, ask for Geeze solo. Incalls, Outcalls, Bespoke bookings Nationwide


Any money paid is for our time & companionship only. Whatever else that may occur if & when contact is made is a choice between consenting adults over the age of 21

County Durham
Escort Service


Half Hour Escort Incall


One Hour Escort Incall


1.5 Hour Escort Incall


2 Hour Escort Incall


3 Hour Escort Incall


Overnight Escort Incall


B&B + 2.5 Hour Incall

Northern Outcalls 

North East Home & Hotel Outcalls 

Mature Escort Outcalls Yorkshire


One Hour Escort Outcall


1.5 Hour Escort Outcall


2 Hour Escort Outcall


3 Hour Escort Outcall


4 Hour Escort Outcall


Overnight Esc Outcall

Round trip travel up to 80 miles included in our Northern Escort Outcall rate, IE 40 miles out from Darlington England. So if you're looking for an escort couple & you want a home or hotel outcall in any of the following locations, pick up the phone: Stockton-On-Tees, Middlesbrough, Hartlepool, Redcar, Saltburn-By-The-Sea, Whitby, Stokesley, Yarm, Bishop Auckland, Durham, Washington, Gateshead, Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, Newcastle Airport NCL, South Shields, North Shields, Whitley Bay, Scotch Corner, Northallerton, Ripon, Harrogate, Appleby, Kirkby Stephen & all places in-between. All major hotel chains covered, discreet escort service to Hilton Hotels, DoubleTree, Jury's Inn, Mariott Hotels, Premier Inn, Travelodge, Hampton by Hilton, AirBnB, Motel One, IHG hotels, Ramada Encore, Radisson Blu Hotels, Holiday Inn, Holiday Inn Express, Crowne Plaza, Hotel Indigo, Copthorne Hotels, Signature Hotels, Independents as well as Serviced Accommodation in the North East. 

Places further afield, up to 80 miles from Darlington, we'll happily visit, just ADD £50 to the rates above and be sure to book before 5-30PM for a meeting up to 9-30PM start time the same day >>> Mature Escort Outcalls to hotels and homes across an area including York, Hull, Doncaster Rotherham Barnsley & Sheffield in South Yorkshire, Leeds, Wakefield Halifax & Huddersfield West Yorkshire, Blackpool, Blackburn Bolton Preston & Lancaster Lancashire, Manchester Central, Penrith Workington Barrow-In-Furness & Carlisle Cumbria, as well as all places in-between. Destinations further than 80 miles out from Darlington: please go to 'Bespoke Bookings'. 

Bespoke Escort Bookings


Find out more under FAQ's

Phone Sex

Calls cost the equivalent of 1.50 GBP per minute. Must be pre-arranged. Click the Text or Call  buttons below to book XXX chat. Short notice LIVE 121 adult chatline bookings accepted between 0700 & 2100 London Time.

Frequently Asked Questions...

What's the difference between MMF & MFM? 

Don't worry we get asked this all the time! Its all in the order of the letters, so an M next to an M as in 'MMF' implies consensual sexual contact between the 2 guys as well as the girl.

The letter M each side of the F as in 'MFM' implies there would be no direct sexual contact between the guys with all the attention focused on the girl. So an MFM typically could see the lady penetrated by one male while she performs oral on the other as in a Spit Roast or she could be penetrated by both guys simultaneously vaginally and anally AKA DP. Or lets get really outrageous and have one guy penetrating the lady anally while she simultaneously screws another guy with a strap on; with no direct MM contact, that still could be construed as an MFM!

There are grey areas of any male female male sex scenario there is bound to be close physical contact;

Feeling another guys cock indirectly through the thin membrane between vagina and ass in a DP scenario is an intense turn on to many men. An MFM threesome for some is a 'once in a lifetime' sexperience, its on their bucket list.

But for others its the beginning of a journey.

One thing leads to another and once comfortable within an MFM situation, many men seek to actively explore same sex 'desire' shall we say, especially when there's active encouragement from a female, who herself will usually be intensely aroused by the sight of 2 men 'playing'. It doesn't mean you've suddenly turned gay or even bisexual by wanting to participate in an MMF, it simply means you're inclined to be 'sexpositive'. This can be defined as 'having an attitude towards human sexuality that regards all sexual activities pleasurable & fundamentally healthy provided its consensual and no-body gets hurt'.

Human Sexuality is a spectrum (TAKE THE KLEIN SEXUAL ORIENTATION QUIZ, find it HERE) its commonly acknowledged that no one person can be considered 100% straight or 100% gay. People who are GENUINELY true to themselves will often identify with different areas of the spectrum at different times of their lives and for a multitude of reasons...a subject in itself. Some-one may enjoy being manually bi, move on to being orally bi, then top or bottom, then versatile & fully bi, and may even revert back to 99% straight....NOW you're confused? Don't be!

Want to know the best bit?

We cater to all types wherever you may be within the sexual spectrum. We have the experience to help you get the best out of any threesome scenario. Being nervous is normal; its our job and privilege to help turn your fantasy into reality...All YOU need do is to decide whether its an incall or outcall you want then pick up the phone. 

How do I make an escort booking?

Firstly, make sure you've read ALL relevant information because we will not discuss sexual services, rates for escort service, or precise locations over the phone for legal reasons. (different rules apply to escort couples). If you've not met us before, when making initial contact, please be prepared to give information regarding age, sexuality, previous experience, feedback if any, location, whether you want incall, outcall or bespoke booking, your needs wants & expectations. We don't use WhatsApp and we NEVER meet anyone without a brief phone chat first. Contrary to common expectation we DO NOT sit by a phone ready to 'work' at whatever time you choose to call. TWO HOURS MINIMUM NOTICE is required for a booking not least because we don't work from home. If you call & we don't answer it usually means we're with someone, in which case call back later, we will NEVER TEXT  OR CALL YOU BACK for reasons of discretion. If you repeatedly call and there's still no answer, it's likely you're blocked  for wasting our time in the past, or you've previous 'form' on the Sex Worker's Safety App.  Got all that?  Good.  Please note also that we seldom see anyone under the age of  35, foreigners (with the notable exception of guys from North America), disabled or ethnic minorities. 

What's a Bespoke Booking?

90% of our lovely clients are middle aged & older married men. It can be difficult for this group to travel far from home without arousing suspicion, so if you're struggling to 'find a local escort couple' online don't despair!  We're one of the UK's most experienced & best known duos, let us COME TO YOU on a 'bespoke' or 'custom booking' basis. Anywhere in mainland England + Isle of Man & Isle of Wight; Northern Ireland considered. We've given up on Wales & have no interest anymore in the #policestate of #1984 Scotland. Don't worry if it's not possible for us to come to your home for an outcall. Instead, let us arrange discreet quality accommodation at a mutually convenient location close to you for an incall. It's not as expensive as you might think & we can fix it quite quickly. Typically inquire TODAY for a custom booking TOMORROW. Same-day is sometimes possible too, especially if you make contact before 10AM. A deposit is required to cover travel & pre-booked hotel expenses. Recent meetings have seen us as far afield as Sheffield, London, Stansted, Brighton, Worcester, Gloucester, Bristol, Newquay & Birmingham NEC. 

Example: A custom booking within a 100 mile radius, somewhere like MANCHESTER, LIVERPOOL, CHESTERFIELD, HULL, GRIMSBY, BERWICK-UPON-TWEED including a deluxe room in a 4 star hotel (*there's a £100 accommodation allowance built in), a 3 hour incall, drink included, toys, consumables etc is from £499* all in. (£166.33/hour equivalent) That's no more than some escorts charge for a 3 hour booking alone!  Destinations beyond a 100 miles radius of Darlington/Bishop Auckland we charge an additional 50 pence per mile of radius.  Use THIS TOOL and centre it on 'DARLINGTON' to work out distance. Please bear in mind that a bespoke booking takes up around 24 hours of our time!  Feel free to ask for help crunching numbers &/or more information because We Would Love To Meet You (WLTMU)!  Yes YOU!

What does 'kinky' mean?

Generally speaking: any sexual practise that falls out of 'convention' hee hee. We've never been ones to follow the fold! Find out more by reading this interesting article from Needless to say we TICK ALL BOXES (and more besides) 

How to book Phone Sex?

Easy. Just call us on 07981-726237 anytime between 0700 & 2100 London Time. OR, you can email us. Tell us the scenario, the time you want to start talking, pay the fee & wait for acknowledgment (usually within 10-15 minutes). Then, get tissues get comfy and DIAL. It's that simple. No long intros. No regulators, moderators or Premium Lines, just the very best EXPLICIT no holes barred DIRTY XXX CHAT, MMF, MFM, CUCKOLD, FANTASY/ROLE PLAY, DOMINATION, COUPLE, HER SOLO or HIM SOLO. 

How to pay for Phone Sex 

We're done with banks, that's why we've moved to crypto. It's the future of Adult Work so get used to it!  So if you're a HODDLER or a SPOT TRADER with spare FUNDS either on an exchange or in a crypto wallet, payment for ADULT SERVICES is simple. If you're not yet up to speed with the crypto space, learn about wallets HEREPreferred payment method is via the 'FORGING BLOCK ' gateway you'll see on the CHECKOUT page. The crypto payment amount is automatically converted from GBP to either BTC or ETH, you choose which. We also accept payment for Escort Service using this method (deposits & bespoke booking fees for example); remember the entire transaction takes place outside the banking system. If you prefer, you can instead make a direct crypto transfer, totally ANONYMOUSLY from your wallet to ours using the following BTC receiving address:  bc1qn65rvelafk2x3fmf847s0ud24d35lt2pzz0u8q Copy & paste it or scan the QR code below the FAQ's section. 

Old Skool?

If you really must, then pay by FP bank transfer. We'll text you the account details after you've booked the call. Limited transitional period only. 

You can also elect to pay using CashApp: £Howardsmart56 or Scan the CashApp QR code (with the green £) below, however, please note: if you're loading CashApp with a MasterCard, Nat West or Santander, chances are it'll be rejected.  

Are you horny? Do you wonder what it might be like to play with a kinky couple? 

It's a cliche we know sadly, really is short. So Do Something Today Your Future Self Will Thank-You For & click the button below

Graphic depicting Male Female Male MFM sex

Professional or Amateur?

What difference does it make?


North East escort couple fun50couple posing with logo

QUESTION: 'So what difference does it make to me that you're a 'Professional' Escort Couple?

ANSWER: A lot! Having been in the industry for a number of years we know a good proportion of service providers are amateurs just out for themselves and to make a fast buck with little interest in delivering a quality experience or value for money. These people often boast how 'filthy' and 'slutty' they are, while charging similar rates to ourselves. Often, we get to meet these escorts' clients, eventually, once they've decided to move on after a less than savory experience. In many cases those 'escort's' advertised limits, in reality, turned out to be quite low, their conversation and life experience limited, and frequently they'll be working from home or premises and/or in areas that 'leave a lot to be desired'. We believe that if you're paying good money for a service provider's time, then confidentiality and safety are top of the list; you deserve to be treated as a paying customer instead of some-one who merely helps to feed a habit; the transaction should be conducted in a business-like but friendly fashion from the moment of booking to the moment you bid your farewell, and that you are entitled to expect that the escort DOES ACTUALLY DO what they say on the tin! It is for those reasons, that we have set out below a list of things to look for which should help you to sort the wheat from the chaff. It doesn't mean we're 'up ourselves', it means WE CARE. 

Working as a professional escort couple means we live or die by our performance 'on the job' as it were. It's not possible to make a living in this game from one-offs. Professional Escorts (by definition people who make their entire living from the 'oldest profession') need repeat clients to survive the quiet periods; which in turn means we have to deliver a fantastic experience. So take a minute to check out the volume, quality and recencey of feedback; you'll see its up there with the best in the business. 

Being Professional Escorts means we constantly monitor incoming messages from around 0700 till about 2100 daily Monday - Friday. So don't send us a message asking us about meeting later in the morning...then walk away from your computer and not check for a reply until the afternoon!!! We will normally respond within minutes. If not, then we will likely be in a meeting or on the road, in which case we'll still reply, usually within an hour.

Being Professional Escorts means we work at it FULL TIME either directly, or indirectly. We basically live sleep and breathe Adult Work. So just like anybody else, we like our weekends off, and we like to go to bed at night, so don't waste your time sending silly texts or messages at 2 in the morning asking if we're available. We'll give 100% during our stated hours of work, nothing more, nothing less. YES, we do work some weekends...please check NEWS BAR ticker on the gateway page for up to date info.

Being professional escorts means we are on the radar of the authorities. Which means we have gone to a great deal of trouble to cover EVERYTHING YOU WOULD EVER NEED TO KNOW on this website & its links. So please don't be calling us about fees for our companionship, or about 'what we do'.....talking about those things over a phone-line is ILLEGAL and un-necessary!

Being Professional Escorts mean we have years of experience and can very quickly sort the wheat from the chaff. What do we mean by that? Invariably, the guys who meet us all have one thing in common other than a penis. They have taken the trouble to read the profile, then called us to book with no silly questions, no endless texting or messaging, and without pages of scripted role-play see....we know that there are many sad folk out there who get off just from writing us or texting us without the balls to ever meet. 

If you insist on texting us to ask 'if or when we are available' then we will ignore it or simply ask you to call. WHY? Because our availability changes by the this business it is often 'feast or famine' & we NEVER meet anyone without a brief phone chat first.

Its not unusual for several guys wanting us on the same day at the same time, then there's other days where we're checking to see if the phone's still working its that QUIET! There is no rhyme nor reason as to why that happens, though the more time goes by the more of a pattern emerges... its quite often closely associated with the 'mood' or the 'vibe' in the country at large, a feel good or not, kind of factor. If you follow us on social media or our blogs you'll see we are very much in tune with current affairs, business and politics...we are constantly evaluating our market and ways we can maintain our position as leaders not followers. 

Being Professional Escorts means we take great care and pride in our appearance. You see, we never know within a 12 hour day WHEN we'll be called. It's unrealistic to expect us to sit by a phone all ready to meet at a moments notice. We need a bare minimum of an hour to get ready, WHY? Because we need to shower which includes 'douching' (don't know what we mean by douching? then google it or don't ask for anal), we need to dress appropriately, Minx needs time for make-up/hair to a high standard....guys, think about it...isn't that the very least you'd expect from a professional escort? 

Being Professional Escorts means we're always prepared to expect the unexpected. So we can cope with pretty much anything out there. From Armageddon to an EXTREME meet to a nervous vanilla first-timer...we have the skills to match. We prefer to meet only with guys over 40, simply because less than 2% of guys under 40 ever turn up (TRUE) plus, we have difficulties empathizing with Millennials....the difference in attitude is so very marked and in stark contrast to GenX'ers and Boomers, and not somewhere we want to be. That doesn't mean we're old fashioned far from it...we are right up to speed with social media, modern life, marketing, web technology etc, its just the reliability and experience factors which come into play. We're interested only in people who'll turn up, people that show some respect for us, who are looking for a sensual experience; and for that matter, people who have the life experience behind them to actually recognise and appreciate what a sensual experience is.  

Being Professional Escorts means our own sexuality is constantly evolving...our own limits change over time. We understand that by contacting us you are in effect inviting us into your own private little world and fantasy, we respect that, and we shall do everything in our power to turn that fantasy into reality for you, and into an experience you'll want to repeat over and over.

Being Professional Escorts means this is OUR JOB. It's not about 'what we are into'. It's about us delivering what YOU WANT. Quite possibly you'll ask us for something we're not really personally 'in to' however, we're perfectly capable of delivering that experience seamlessly and without any hint of it 'not being for us'. That is a trait of a truly professional escort. What we most enjoy is meeting new people and delighting them by delivering them an amazing experience.

'Professional' Escort Couples sometimes means two independent escorts who get together and work occasionally as a 'couple', they're not REAL LIFE. And it shows, through all too often a disjointed/mediocre/amateurish performance! Rest assured, we are a 100% loved up & genuine 'live together' couple of 15 years, engaged, but not yet married for legal reasons.  You'll see that we work very well together as a sexually intuitive team, surely something you would expect when making a date with a couple?

Being Professional Escorts mean we always act in a discreet and Professional manner, but that doesn't mean we're not friendly! Far from it! We have a lifetime of experience behind us including some calamitous & traumatic events, so we are well able to put you at ease and break the ice in seconds! We know that you may well be in a relationship and/or a high profile job so discretion is imperative. We've had clients been 'found out' by angry wives, HOW? Because amateur escorts have texted them at inopportune times, usually touting for business, and the wives have intercepted or seen the text. Rest assured this will NEVER happen with fun50couple. We will only ever text you immediately after a missed call, OR, if its by prior permission and we know you. Hotel Outcalls? We love them...but again discretion is paramount both for us and for you. We have hotels that actively promote us because they know we are discreet, professional, and we bring them quality business. So don't expect to see Minx in thigh high PVC boots, leather mini skirt, gaping blouse with make-up applied by a trowel. Expect instead, a classy looking woman, in heels, fashionably but tastefully dressed. If its winter, look out for a mid-length to long coat, and we'll leave you to imagine what may or may not be underneath. He will be in smart semi-business attire complete with brief case. (full of toys and consumables for safe sex)

Open briefcase revealing escort service toys and consumables used on hotel outcalls

Being Professional Escorts means sadly we have to put all this stuff on the site, due to ever increasing numbers of idiots and time-wasters. If you are not in that category and you genuinely want to meet us with a minimum of fuss, then you'll understand this is necessary and you'll not be offended. We are not being arrogant and saying we are the best and the only show in town. There are hundreds of people out there who could be compatible and who could easily light your fire! BUT....your problem is finding them. Life is short, and time is PRECIOUS, we'll let our feedback do the talking, and your feet do the our door, contact us NOW and we'll SEE YOU SOON, Luv fun50couple xx 

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